i gave this to a friend aaron. it's one of my favorites.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
alex pardee bite
mine is nowhere compared to his but i wanted to paint it so i did. i obviously changed the bunny to a banana. don't ask me why. because i won't tell you.
i love this picture
freak
my friend eric drew this picture for me, he's mad genius at art
sorry the picture's so small, i don't have an original anymore
sorry the picture's so small, i don't have an original anymore
Saturday, November 22, 2008
my brain on thoreau
I had to write a paper on a topic from the book Walden; or life in the woods. By: Henry David Thoreau for my english class. I was assigned to observe people at a mall and compare what I saw with things I think Thoreau would say/think about those people. I didn't go to the mall, I just used past/recent experiences.
this is my paper. Lets see how long you get reading this before you get bored.
Us people will wake up and smell the person next to us, and we will enjoy the putrid stench each other gives off. We will learn to, as they say, "live each day as if it were our last", and spend our time quite wisely being awake.
Henry David Thoreau says " To be awake is to be alive. I have never yet met a man who was quite awake. How could i have looked him in the face?
We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake."
I'm not sure but I do believe he means that he has never met a person who has, how he views it, lived their life to the fullest as he may think he has. I wonder if Thoreau thinks himself to be the only person who has lived their life worth it being brought to them. I say wonder because I've never met the man and couldn't tell you if I were right or wrong. I also wonder if Thoreau thinks higher of himself then others but from what I've heard in this book he's doesn't seem the type of man to believe that sort of thing. I picture him being the kind of person to pull something like that but not believe in it. Almost as if he were an aware hypocrite. Then again, I can't say type of person because who's to say what a type is right? I have met people like this, people who higher themselves and belittle others. I'm not saying this is Thoreau. When he say's "how could I have looked him in the face?" I think he means, how can he take someone seriously who doesn't take their life seriously? How can he look someone in the eye and respect them when they weren't all there? When they don't even see themselves what is going on around them.
I have come across people who don't seem quite there, and people who believe they are much better then other people, other people they may not even know. Now how can some stranger dare say they are any better then me? I don't understand that, now you may have more money, or even have more knowledge of certain things then I do. That most certainly doesn't mean you are better. You see I may have more control over money, or have more generosity with the little money I may have, or I may know more about anatomy, or art then you. Now remember, you don't know me all that well so this isn't based solely off of my characteristics. I could be lying about all of this, I may or may not have money in my pocket. That's not for you to know. These people who believe themselves higher then the average man deserve a good metaphorical pinch in the arm to wake themselves up from their little world of happy faeries and good hair. The people who base their knowledge off of how many syllables they can fit in one word, or how many inferior monkeys they can confuse. I don't believe anybody is better then the next beast who crosses his/her path. I don't entirely believe Thoreau would either, he does seem to be a bit or more on the opinionated side. That's not necessarily a bad thing though either.
I see people everyday who seem to be wasting their lives, then again I wouldn't know if that's the way they'd like to be living their life. I see people who don't seem to understand the value of the life they have and they don't take advantage of what's in front of them. I am probably one of those people, but in writing this you know I won't always be one of those people, if I am now. There are people who put down their lives so much that they forget what and who they are surrounded by, they don't even recognize a good think looking them in the eye or an opportunity at their toes because they are so busy worrying about how their lives aren't what they expected when there's still time to change that. "However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names." - Thoreau. I have heard about people who have considered cutting their lives short because they were unfulfilled and at the last second realized everything in their lives that they didn't like, they could change in some way to make it better.
Another example of learning to wake up would be the humans who go unnoticed for their hidden genius or praised for their stupidity. This is when the smelling comes in, you'll really need to use your nose for this one. It reminds me of Andy Goldsworthy and how he'd find the simplest rock hidden under the water of a little stream and create the most vibrant red powder out of the rock before sending it right back swimming through the water only with a whole new image. Now this rock was always that bright pretty color that was flowing through the stream, it was just hidden. It wasn't boasting around about his beautiful reds and forcing itself noticed. Nobody payed attention to the poor rock before it were crushed to powder, it didn't even need the attention.
Thoreau says "Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." I know of a boy who happens to be extremely talented and genius at what he does, he does music. I don't believe he has gotten the amount of awareness he deserves. I don't think too many people realized he was so brilliant until he performed in front of the school. He is pretty good at hiding. I once asked him, "Do you do anything? Play music or do art?" He said, "I play guitar and the drums a little bit." He said this as if he goofs around on the guitar now and then. I didn't take him seriously because of the way he said it. Some kids at school heard me mention his name and got pretty riled telling me how talented he was. I looked him up, he was amazing. Come to find out, this boy plays guitar, sings, plays drums, and writes his own songs. He was far, far more talented then he lead me to believe. Like I said, he hides himself well from the swarming crowds. I heard him perform and I nearly cried. To know someone that talented gave me goosebumps. Now past all this talent this boy is one of the most humble kids I know, he is also very strange. My friend told me once, "I've figured this boy out. He doesn't crave attention, therefore he receives it." in those words. That is exactly how it is. I believe this relates to the quote from Thoreau above.
Someone awake and aware of the world around him just happened to come along and notice this rocks beauty. This may relate to Thoreau because he seems pretty darn aware about the life around him and the way things work. He sees how people react to certain things and how people spend their time while others don't care to notice. He sees what the fools do and feeds off of that by doing almost the opposite. This is completely ridiculous to say but it might be true. Gets you thinking about what we are actually doing and if everything we've done so far is wrong. If Thoreau knows all, we have it all wrong and have lived our lives the complete opposite as we should have. Don't be so negative Jordan.
Moving on. Now, back to the rock. Notice this rock wasn't noticed until it changed. Does this teach us we must change for others approval? It does, but don't listen to the little rock. It's words are being twisted, it means no harm. BUT, in modern day culture our lives thrive off of attention and approval. We are constantly trying to change ourselves for the next person's opinion. We will never be good enough to the biggest belittler that I told you about, why try? For all they know we think of ourselves as better, of course even the most confident person has self consciousness and envy. You may not like something about yourself that someone else is in love with. This next step is called, getting over it and moving on to better things. Who cares if someone doesn't approve, live your life happily the way you'd like it to be lived. Thoreau sure didn't seem to care about what other people thought of him from what I've heard in "Walden." In Walden Thoreau says "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Don't stop someone from being themselves. They may view things differently then you do, they may act, or dress differently then you. Don't try and stop someone from being different and don't let anyone try and stop you from being different.
You are unhappy with what you have? Fix it. Thoreau seemed to know how to make something out of nothing. He knew how he wanted to live and he lived just that. There is a song called "no regrets" by Aesop Rock. "I've never had a dream in my life because a dream is what you wanna do but still haven't pursued. I knew what I wanted and did it till it was done, so I've been the dream that I wanted to be since day one." To me this is pretty relevant to Henry David Thoreau. How he lived his life may seem completely wasted to some people, he built a shack, lived alone for a couple years wrote a book and died. That's all the average student probably knows about him. But he had his mind set on one thing. He knew how he wanted to spend his time and did just that. He didn't let peoples' opinions get the best of him, he didn't let anything get in his way of doing what he wanted to do. He died, but do you think he died with regret? Do you think he died an unsatisfied man? I think he dealt with life on earth the best he thought possible.
It seems so many people live their lives with regret or even cut their lives short for the wrong reasons, not that I see any right reason. We don't appreciate what we have, we don't notice the things that are right in front of our faces. We don't care about what we have until it's too late and we never seem happy with our days spent. Once again, this doesn't go for everyone on this planet, just the majority. We don't always learn from our mistakes, should it take more then one try to get it right? It depends doesn't it. Why don't we realize early on that we can fix how our lives are going to be? Adults who wish they would have done something differently, why couldn't they spot the mistake in high school when they were making it? Even after seeing other humans mistakes they follow the crowd and trip, they recover and make the same mistake again.
Unhappy with your life? Oh, you don't have a nice expensive car or a big house with easy talent? That's why you work for it. Who says you need material things to live anyway? If you do feel this way, work really hard and get that nice car and that trophy wife. Who would you ever tell you you couldn't? "What people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can." - Thoreau. Don't let anybody tell you you're not good enough for something. You can do whatever you want and you have all the power in the world to be what you want. "However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names." - Thoreau. I take this as, no matter what you get in life, take it and make what you can out of it. Don't be ungrateful about your life when you have control over every part of it. It is what you make it.
So the next step for you is to look around. Who do you see? What are they thinking? How do they feel? What do they smell like? Think, have you affected this person in any way? You better believe you have, negatively or positively this person you've come across has noticed and took a step to the side to let you pass. Maybe you had that awkward moment when you try to step aside for that person as they do the same and you get caught up in a scuffle of trying to move out of the way. Why are you trying to move out of the way?
I think more then likely you are the change in someones life whether you believe it or not, whether you like it or not. The littlest thing can change someone's life and you wouldn't even realize it. It might affect someone just for the day, or for the rest of their life but everyone has an affect on the next person they will have that awkward moment of stepping to the side with. I think everyone can be a hero to someone, you don't have to be Oprah to be something. Thoreau said "Be not simply good, be good for something." what I think he means by this is that instead of just being good at something, have a reason for it. Don't waste your talents. Don't take your good traits for granted. Even you might not realize what good you're doing for someone else. Don't do something for a crowd, do it for yourself. Thoreau said "Be not simply good, be good for something." There is no such thing as being entirely good. You have your morales but don't let them get in the way of standing up for what you believe in. "Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it." Someone will do something, you will follow behind because you thinks it's the right thing to do. People imitate what others do, "monkey see monkey do." Don't do something you don't believe in for the approval of others.
Examples of spotted sleepers.
I was walking down the hall one day, I tend to stare at people a lot and notice weird things. Though this didn't involve me until a second later I payed attention anyway, I wouldn't ask why because I don't know. This kid, who I finally figured out is called Austin. He's a pretty quiet kid, that is, compared to the large number of loud, raging kids boasting of their exploits as they barrel through the hallways ( left that in for you ). He was giving away free high fives to people as they passed him standing in the hall. I'm still not sure why, must have been a good day or something. A girl I happen to know and talk to a bit now and then approached him, unknowingly of course. She didn't see him there. She didn't see his hand waving in her face either, she didn't even hear him yelling at her. She kept walking, and this made me feel very awkward having witnessed this kid's unnoticed hand drop to his side. Luckily, as soon as his confused eyes spotted my empathetic expression his hand raised back to its post. I smiled real big and gave his hand a hard smack with mine, acting overexcited because I found it just a little bit necessary. This girl I hadn't completely thought to be the sort to not see something so literally in her face, but that is exactly what she was. I would still like to know what her mind was so wrapped around. It could have been an honest mistake. Maybe she's just a germaphobic girl who merely didn't want his germs spreading to her hand through the clap--and by clap I mean friction between his hand and hers. Maybe she is just a very self-absorbed person who was so wrapped up in her own little world that she was unable to spot the flying fingers. Then again, who am I to say she's self absorbed? Maybe she was having a rough day and had so many things taking a stroll through her mind that she couldn't focus on much more. I guess I will never know. In fact, I've told this story right to the girl and she didn't even realize it was about her.
Another example of a zombie.
I once tripped a girl walking through the hall. It wasn't entirely my fault, though I was sitting in a bit of an unusual place and I was wearing a lot of black. I was sitting on a light beige tiled floor with the occasional red or shaded blue tiles as you've seen in the hallways. This would make it pretty easy for someone to spot two chicken legs a few feet in front of your toes. She tripped, anyways i said sorry though I didn't mean it. I think I probably should have meant it, or actually did mean it at least a little, but I didn't do it on purpose and she didn't hit the ground, just stumbled a bit. She looked back and said sorry. I don't believe she meant it either. I wondered what she must have been thinking about to keep her from looking where her feet were stepping. I must have scared her or made her feel bad that day because the few times I've looked at her since she's smiled at me as if to say, "You tripped me once and it was embarrassing but I don't want you to know I talked about it later to my girlfriends and we think you're a freak." Any normal person would step up and get angry at me for tripping them, not put on a smile then turn their backs only to give me a bad name as the girl who likes to trip people. I wonder if you caught the sarcasm that most people don't speak the 100% truth.
I could be one of those freaks who thinks everyone is out to get them and not know it. And you could be thinking that I'm crazy for thinking she was thinking that about the situation at all. But this is my story. And hidden tension makes the world go round.
How can I accuse either of these girls of being self absorbed? I don't know them well enough. I will never know anyone well enough to judge their personalities to the fullest. I don't even know myself well enough to tell whether or not my life revolves around me. Thoreau says, " I should not talk so much about myself if there were anybody else whom I knew as well. Unfortunately I am confined to this theme by the narrowness of my experience. I assume means, he doesn't mean to sound self absorbed but he is the only person he knows so well to talk about. He can't point fingers or name people because he doesn't know them, he can't write about their lives because he doesn't know how they live. He knows himself more then he knows anyone else and he knows himself more then anyone ever will. It reminds me of how people say they can never be their complete selves around anyone but themselves. Why is that? We are so comfortable around ourselves because we don't judge ourselves, that's not true. People judge themselves all the time, and don't people say we are you toughest critic? We all care so much about what everyone else views us as that we can't even be ourself when we are alone?
So the moral to this story is. Live your life, not someone else's. Don't spend your life doing things you know you'll regret. Wake up and realize what you have, stay awake and run with what you have. Don't let anyone's opinions affect they way you want to live. Don't take your life or the people and things in it for granted. Understand what you have in front of you and start juicing lemons.
Citations!
Thoreau, Henry David . www.brainyquote.com. 22 Nov 2008.
Thoreau, Henry David . www.psymon.com. 22 Nov 2008 .
this is my paper. Lets see how long you get reading this before you get bored.
Us people will wake up and smell the person next to us, and we will enjoy the putrid stench each other gives off. We will learn to, as they say, "live each day as if it were our last", and spend our time quite wisely being awake.
Henry David Thoreau says " To be awake is to be alive. I have never yet met a man who was quite awake. How could i have looked him in the face?
We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake."
I'm not sure but I do believe he means that he has never met a person who has, how he views it, lived their life to the fullest as he may think he has. I wonder if Thoreau thinks himself to be the only person who has lived their life worth it being brought to them. I say wonder because I've never met the man and couldn't tell you if I were right or wrong. I also wonder if Thoreau thinks higher of himself then others but from what I've heard in this book he's doesn't seem the type of man to believe that sort of thing. I picture him being the kind of person to pull something like that but not believe in it. Almost as if he were an aware hypocrite. Then again, I can't say type of person because who's to say what a type is right? I have met people like this, people who higher themselves and belittle others. I'm not saying this is Thoreau. When he say's "how could I have looked him in the face?" I think he means, how can he take someone seriously who doesn't take their life seriously? How can he look someone in the eye and respect them when they weren't all there? When they don't even see themselves what is going on around them.
I have come across people who don't seem quite there, and people who believe they are much better then other people, other people they may not even know. Now how can some stranger dare say they are any better then me? I don't understand that, now you may have more money, or even have more knowledge of certain things then I do. That most certainly doesn't mean you are better. You see I may have more control over money, or have more generosity with the little money I may have, or I may know more about anatomy, or art then you. Now remember, you don't know me all that well so this isn't based solely off of my characteristics. I could be lying about all of this, I may or may not have money in my pocket. That's not for you to know. These people who believe themselves higher then the average man deserve a good metaphorical pinch in the arm to wake themselves up from their little world of happy faeries and good hair. The people who base their knowledge off of how many syllables they can fit in one word, or how many inferior monkeys they can confuse. I don't believe anybody is better then the next beast who crosses his/her path. I don't entirely believe Thoreau would either, he does seem to be a bit or more on the opinionated side. That's not necessarily a bad thing though either.
I see people everyday who seem to be wasting their lives, then again I wouldn't know if that's the way they'd like to be living their life. I see people who don't seem to understand the value of the life they have and they don't take advantage of what's in front of them. I am probably one of those people, but in writing this you know I won't always be one of those people, if I am now. There are people who put down their lives so much that they forget what and who they are surrounded by, they don't even recognize a good think looking them in the eye or an opportunity at their toes because they are so busy worrying about how their lives aren't what they expected when there's still time to change that. "However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names." - Thoreau. I have heard about people who have considered cutting their lives short because they were unfulfilled and at the last second realized everything in their lives that they didn't like, they could change in some way to make it better.
Another example of learning to wake up would be the humans who go unnoticed for their hidden genius or praised for their stupidity. This is when the smelling comes in, you'll really need to use your nose for this one. It reminds me of Andy Goldsworthy and how he'd find the simplest rock hidden under the water of a little stream and create the most vibrant red powder out of the rock before sending it right back swimming through the water only with a whole new image. Now this rock was always that bright pretty color that was flowing through the stream, it was just hidden. It wasn't boasting around about his beautiful reds and forcing itself noticed. Nobody payed attention to the poor rock before it were crushed to powder, it didn't even need the attention.
Thoreau says "Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." I know of a boy who happens to be extremely talented and genius at what he does, he does music. I don't believe he has gotten the amount of awareness he deserves. I don't think too many people realized he was so brilliant until he performed in front of the school. He is pretty good at hiding. I once asked him, "Do you do anything? Play music or do art?" He said, "I play guitar and the drums a little bit." He said this as if he goofs around on the guitar now and then. I didn't take him seriously because of the way he said it. Some kids at school heard me mention his name and got pretty riled telling me how talented he was. I looked him up, he was amazing. Come to find out, this boy plays guitar, sings, plays drums, and writes his own songs. He was far, far more talented then he lead me to believe. Like I said, he hides himself well from the swarming crowds. I heard him perform and I nearly cried. To know someone that talented gave me goosebumps. Now past all this talent this boy is one of the most humble kids I know, he is also very strange. My friend told me once, "I've figured this boy out. He doesn't crave attention, therefore he receives it." in those words. That is exactly how it is. I believe this relates to the quote from Thoreau above.
Someone awake and aware of the world around him just happened to come along and notice this rocks beauty. This may relate to Thoreau because he seems pretty darn aware about the life around him and the way things work. He sees how people react to certain things and how people spend their time while others don't care to notice. He sees what the fools do and feeds off of that by doing almost the opposite. This is completely ridiculous to say but it might be true. Gets you thinking about what we are actually doing and if everything we've done so far is wrong. If Thoreau knows all, we have it all wrong and have lived our lives the complete opposite as we should have. Don't be so negative Jordan.
Moving on. Now, back to the rock. Notice this rock wasn't noticed until it changed. Does this teach us we must change for others approval? It does, but don't listen to the little rock. It's words are being twisted, it means no harm. BUT, in modern day culture our lives thrive off of attention and approval. We are constantly trying to change ourselves for the next person's opinion. We will never be good enough to the biggest belittler that I told you about, why try? For all they know we think of ourselves as better, of course even the most confident person has self consciousness and envy. You may not like something about yourself that someone else is in love with. This next step is called, getting over it and moving on to better things. Who cares if someone doesn't approve, live your life happily the way you'd like it to be lived. Thoreau sure didn't seem to care about what other people thought of him from what I've heard in "Walden." In Walden Thoreau says "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Don't stop someone from being themselves. They may view things differently then you do, they may act, or dress differently then you. Don't try and stop someone from being different and don't let anyone try and stop you from being different.
You are unhappy with what you have? Fix it. Thoreau seemed to know how to make something out of nothing. He knew how he wanted to live and he lived just that. There is a song called "no regrets" by Aesop Rock. "I've never had a dream in my life because a dream is what you wanna do but still haven't pursued. I knew what I wanted and did it till it was done, so I've been the dream that I wanted to be since day one." To me this is pretty relevant to Henry David Thoreau. How he lived his life may seem completely wasted to some people, he built a shack, lived alone for a couple years wrote a book and died. That's all the average student probably knows about him. But he had his mind set on one thing. He knew how he wanted to spend his time and did just that. He didn't let peoples' opinions get the best of him, he didn't let anything get in his way of doing what he wanted to do. He died, but do you think he died with regret? Do you think he died an unsatisfied man? I think he dealt with life on earth the best he thought possible.
It seems so many people live their lives with regret or even cut their lives short for the wrong reasons, not that I see any right reason. We don't appreciate what we have, we don't notice the things that are right in front of our faces. We don't care about what we have until it's too late and we never seem happy with our days spent. Once again, this doesn't go for everyone on this planet, just the majority. We don't always learn from our mistakes, should it take more then one try to get it right? It depends doesn't it. Why don't we realize early on that we can fix how our lives are going to be? Adults who wish they would have done something differently, why couldn't they spot the mistake in high school when they were making it? Even after seeing other humans mistakes they follow the crowd and trip, they recover and make the same mistake again.
Unhappy with your life? Oh, you don't have a nice expensive car or a big house with easy talent? That's why you work for it. Who says you need material things to live anyway? If you do feel this way, work really hard and get that nice car and that trophy wife. Who would you ever tell you you couldn't? "What people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can." - Thoreau. Don't let anybody tell you you're not good enough for something. You can do whatever you want and you have all the power in the world to be what you want. "However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names." - Thoreau. I take this as, no matter what you get in life, take it and make what you can out of it. Don't be ungrateful about your life when you have control over every part of it. It is what you make it.
So the next step for you is to look around. Who do you see? What are they thinking? How do they feel? What do they smell like? Think, have you affected this person in any way? You better believe you have, negatively or positively this person you've come across has noticed and took a step to the side to let you pass. Maybe you had that awkward moment when you try to step aside for that person as they do the same and you get caught up in a scuffle of trying to move out of the way. Why are you trying to move out of the way?
I think more then likely you are the change in someones life whether you believe it or not, whether you like it or not. The littlest thing can change someone's life and you wouldn't even realize it. It might affect someone just for the day, or for the rest of their life but everyone has an affect on the next person they will have that awkward moment of stepping to the side with. I think everyone can be a hero to someone, you don't have to be Oprah to be something. Thoreau said "Be not simply good, be good for something." what I think he means by this is that instead of just being good at something, have a reason for it. Don't waste your talents. Don't take your good traits for granted. Even you might not realize what good you're doing for someone else. Don't do something for a crowd, do it for yourself. Thoreau said "Be not simply good, be good for something." There is no such thing as being entirely good. You have your morales but don't let them get in the way of standing up for what you believe in. "Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it." Someone will do something, you will follow behind because you thinks it's the right thing to do. People imitate what others do, "monkey see monkey do." Don't do something you don't believe in for the approval of others.
Examples of spotted sleepers.
I was walking down the hall one day, I tend to stare at people a lot and notice weird things. Though this didn't involve me until a second later I payed attention anyway, I wouldn't ask why because I don't know. This kid, who I finally figured out is called Austin. He's a pretty quiet kid, that is, compared to the large number of loud, raging kids boasting of their exploits as they barrel through the hallways ( left that in for you ). He was giving away free high fives to people as they passed him standing in the hall. I'm still not sure why, must have been a good day or something. A girl I happen to know and talk to a bit now and then approached him, unknowingly of course. She didn't see him there. She didn't see his hand waving in her face either, she didn't even hear him yelling at her. She kept walking, and this made me feel very awkward having witnessed this kid's unnoticed hand drop to his side. Luckily, as soon as his confused eyes spotted my empathetic expression his hand raised back to its post. I smiled real big and gave his hand a hard smack with mine, acting overexcited because I found it just a little bit necessary. This girl I hadn't completely thought to be the sort to not see something so literally in her face, but that is exactly what she was. I would still like to know what her mind was so wrapped around. It could have been an honest mistake. Maybe she's just a germaphobic girl who merely didn't want his germs spreading to her hand through the clap--and by clap I mean friction between his hand and hers. Maybe she is just a very self-absorbed person who was so wrapped up in her own little world that she was unable to spot the flying fingers. Then again, who am I to say she's self absorbed? Maybe she was having a rough day and had so many things taking a stroll through her mind that she couldn't focus on much more. I guess I will never know. In fact, I've told this story right to the girl and she didn't even realize it was about her.
Another example of a zombie.
I once tripped a girl walking through the hall. It wasn't entirely my fault, though I was sitting in a bit of an unusual place and I was wearing a lot of black. I was sitting on a light beige tiled floor with the occasional red or shaded blue tiles as you've seen in the hallways. This would make it pretty easy for someone to spot two chicken legs a few feet in front of your toes. She tripped, anyways i said sorry though I didn't mean it. I think I probably should have meant it, or actually did mean it at least a little, but I didn't do it on purpose and she didn't hit the ground, just stumbled a bit. She looked back and said sorry. I don't believe she meant it either. I wondered what she must have been thinking about to keep her from looking where her feet were stepping. I must have scared her or made her feel bad that day because the few times I've looked at her since she's smiled at me as if to say, "You tripped me once and it was embarrassing but I don't want you to know I talked about it later to my girlfriends and we think you're a freak." Any normal person would step up and get angry at me for tripping them, not put on a smile then turn their backs only to give me a bad name as the girl who likes to trip people. I wonder if you caught the sarcasm that most people don't speak the 100% truth.
I could be one of those freaks who thinks everyone is out to get them and not know it. And you could be thinking that I'm crazy for thinking she was thinking that about the situation at all. But this is my story. And hidden tension makes the world go round.
How can I accuse either of these girls of being self absorbed? I don't know them well enough. I will never know anyone well enough to judge their personalities to the fullest. I don't even know myself well enough to tell whether or not my life revolves around me. Thoreau says, " I should not talk so much about myself if there were anybody else whom I knew as well. Unfortunately I am confined to this theme by the narrowness of my experience. I assume means, he doesn't mean to sound self absorbed but he is the only person he knows so well to talk about. He can't point fingers or name people because he doesn't know them, he can't write about their lives because he doesn't know how they live. He knows himself more then he knows anyone else and he knows himself more then anyone ever will. It reminds me of how people say they can never be their complete selves around anyone but themselves. Why is that? We are so comfortable around ourselves because we don't judge ourselves, that's not true. People judge themselves all the time, and don't people say we are you toughest critic? We all care so much about what everyone else views us as that we can't even be ourself when we are alone?
So the moral to this story is. Live your life, not someone else's. Don't spend your life doing things you know you'll regret. Wake up and realize what you have, stay awake and run with what you have. Don't let anyone's opinions affect they way you want to live. Don't take your life or the people and things in it for granted. Understand what you have in front of you and start juicing lemons.
Citations!
Thoreau, Henry David . www.brainyquote.com. 22 Nov 2008
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