supah sprayah

your hiccups are ugly.
because they're drunken.

you're tears are ugly.
because they're thoughtless.

what i say is pointless.
because it's instantly forgotten.

i can't look at you sometimes.

you smell bad.

i can't hug you.
or say i love you anymore.
i don't want to listen to you anymore..

i want to tell you how you messed me up.
those thoughtless tears will just come back.
but mine aren't thoughtless, and they hurt my head.
so i'd rather just ignore it.

so go away from me.
i'd like to walk away.
i'd like to say i'll come back,
but i don't want to come back.

i don't want to hear you anymore.
i don't want to smell you anymore.
i don't want to look at you anymore,
or think about you,
or cry over you,
or worry about you.

sometimes i know what love feels like.
sometimes it's all run out.
my love comes back when i realize i'm floating.
when i realize we're floating.

too many sometimes

sometimes you're not around,
so i'll hug my cats.
sometimes my cat's aren't around,
so i'll talk to myself.
sometimes they're not around,
so i'll argue with the walls.
sometimes you're shoulder isn't there,
so i'll use a pillow or something.
sometimes my comforts gone,
so i use my thumb to teeth.
sometimes i can't hear you,
so i listen to a song.
sometimes my sanity takes a break,
so i curl.
sometimes the pills don't work,
so i cry.
sometimes the pounding continues or gets worse when i cry,
so i try to sleep.
then i can see the pounding,
so i cry some more.
then the pounding worsens and brightens.

sometimes my love is gone.
i go fishing, but catch no fish..
my love comes back when i realize the fish are floating.

sometimes i want to cry for no reason,
so i watch a movie for an excuse.

sometimes i can hear you whispering,
so i cover my ears.

sometimes i can feel that look of disappointment,
so i close my eyes.
i can still feel it.

sometimes i'm cold,
you're not there,
so i get a blanket.
sometimes the thumb comes back.

sometimes i feel pathetic,
then i eat. or sleep.

sometimes my cats aren't there,
and i can't sleep.
sometimes you're not there, and i can't eat.

sometimes my backbone needs tightening,
and you're there to fix it.

sometimes my gut needs punching,
and they're there to fix it.

sometimes nobody's there.
and i can't handle it.

toss your cookies

oh sweet, freezer burnt tasting cookie dough.
i can't help but wonder how many eggs are in you.
are you eggless? if so i have a chance of not getting worms or diarrhea.
i'm still a little worried. why would i be given you if you weren't eggless?
i can't stop eating you, i feel sicker by the minute but i just can't stop.
i look over, you look so disgusting, like grainy oversugared doo doo with raisins and oatmeal. there's not raisins in you, those are little chips of chocolate.
i'm not telling you what's real, i'm telling you what you look like.
you look like somebody who nobody wants to admit to wanting, someone with hidden surprises and lies hidden inside. that's when the eggs and the problems come in.
why didn't you tell me there were eggs in you? oh dear cookie dough, the lies.
but i continue, to grab you, and to eat you.
cookie dough you make me nervous.
i feel like gagging now.
did i overdue it? you are too mysterious for me.
i can't handle your sneaky ways.
you taste pretty good though. it's not worth it.
i have a headache and the queez is no help.

drink some water.
i drink some water.

ha i continue dancing.
i'm just dancing.
dancing dancing dancing dancing dancing
i don't want to forget what your voice sounds like.
i don't want to forget what your face looks like.
i don't want to see your back.

my eye is burning, really really bad.