too many sometimes

sometimes you're not around,
so i'll hug my cats.
sometimes my cat's aren't around,
so i'll talk to myself.
sometimes they're not around,
so i'll argue with the walls.
sometimes you're shoulder isn't there,
so i'll use a pillow or something.
sometimes my comforts gone,
so i use my thumb to teeth.
sometimes i can't hear you,
so i listen to a song.
sometimes my sanity takes a break,
so i curl.
sometimes the pills don't work,
so i cry.
sometimes the pounding continues or gets worse when i cry,
so i try to sleep.
then i can see the pounding,
so i cry some more.
then the pounding worsens and brightens.

sometimes my love is gone.
i go fishing, but catch no fish..
my love comes back when i realize the fish are floating.

sometimes i want to cry for no reason,
so i watch a movie for an excuse.

sometimes i can hear you whispering,
so i cover my ears.

sometimes i can feel that look of disappointment,
so i close my eyes.
i can still feel it.

sometimes i'm cold,
you're not there,
so i get a blanket.
sometimes the thumb comes back.

sometimes i feel pathetic,
then i eat. or sleep.

sometimes my cats aren't there,
and i can't sleep.
sometimes you're not there, and i can't eat.

sometimes my backbone needs tightening,
and you're there to fix it.

sometimes my gut needs punching,
and they're there to fix it.

sometimes nobody's there.
and i can't handle it.