i am nervous fists

i fell into my hole today and i curled like i am persons nervous fists balled with angst because i don't belong here, i curl like the feline i should have been. this wouldn't have happened if i were. the most brilliant thing brings this upon me without warning. i fell deep into my whole tonight and curled and became the dirt that you walk on with leather dress shoes. and you took me home with my burden of insecurities and held my imperfections in the palms of your big hands. though i feel i am the dirt beneath you tonight, it's the most beautiful night. all i kept thinking was to be hit by sliding compact on heated rubber above the wet on my right and how if i were to blow away tonight, feeling like the feathers falling from those sparrows around those big yellow eyes. and i see the wet ground. and i feel you are with me. and i feel like i can't feel like the all alright that i wish i would. i would love to blow away tonight.